First of all before I descend into a very typically British “dissatisfied customer” rant, I would like to begin on a very positive and appreciative note to acknowledge and thank all those that commented and offered help and advice on my last post.
All of your contributions were heard and were received with frazzled gratitude.
Unfortunately, the afore-mentioned computer is still decidedly dead and I am still very much in the dark as to why. After playing a rather ridiculous game of “Cat and Mouse” with Dell’s Indian Call Centre technitians via Email, Voicemail and Telephone, I spent most of today trying to get through via their “Technical Support Helpline”.
I have lost count how many times I dialled that number to then be greeted with not one, but three seperate press-option menus (that follow one after the other). After keying 1 for a “Home System”, then 1 for “Dimension”, then 2 for “purchases older than 30 days”, I was then greeted with ringing.…and more ringing…and then finally… the “Doooooooooh” of the ever-familiar dead dial tone as I got cut off. This happened Every. Mortal. Time.
I went through the online troubleshooter (thanks Karl) and did the “Drive Self Test” diagnostics doo-dah, which resulted in:
Hard Drive Diagnostics running, please wait...
Drive 0 - Error Attempting Diagnostics
Drive 1 - Sony CD-RW/DVD ROM CRX835E Diagnostics not supported
So, I told the troubleshooter and it then wanted me to reinstall Windows.
I am not going down that road unsupervised. The tech at my sister’s workplace recommended that I stick it out with Dell as I’m covered by warranty and would get parts and labour for free. But so far, all I’ve gotten for free is a headache and a foul disposition.
The last time I tried the support line, I actually did manage to get further than the options robot, though the robot was the only English voice I was to hear throughout the duration of the call. It is worth noting at this point that I am not good with foreign accents.
I was marooned on “hold” for over 20 minutes listening to a dodgy, budget Country & Western compilation on a rough old cassette that by the sound (or lack of) it, had clearly seen better days. I was then greeted by a very Indian lady with a very Indian accent, whose name I obviously didn’t catch.
Cue 45 mins of my life groaning by at an agonising pace as I spoon-fed said lady my contact details, spelling each element both phonetically and alphabetically, complete with associated examples: “Essex, that’s eh-SSS-e-cksss, E for elephant, double S for sugar, another E for elephant and X for …*long pause whilst my train of thought flails around wildly for something beginning with an X*…erm.. Xylophone!” and then plodding through diagnostics…
Operator: “Please press the el-uff-dulleff key”
There’s me staring panic-stricken at my keyboard, searching frantically whilst thinking to myself: But I don’t have an “Elf” key! It took several repetitions to discover that she was actually saying F12.
Long story short, my computer is being picked up and my hard drive is being replaced.
Lets hope the worst is over and that I get my computer back in one piece and in fully working order.
A full-time wheelchair user since 1998, Claire lives in an adapted bungalow in England with her Partner of 10 years and their two dogs: 
Ah! I’m glad you get the robot cutting you off as well…I thought that was just our IP phone system.
Always fun, is it not? As for the iffy hold music, I just turn on the speakerphone and hurl abuse at the horror until someone picks up. Keep a notepad handy next time for doodling…it helps with the frustration.
It does sound like your HDD expired. There are a few brands that seem to be under fire at the moment. At least ours pre-empt failure and bring up “Hard disk operating outside normal parameters. Please back up your data and replace drive. Press F1 to continue”.
Mind you, thinking back..the 250Gb SATA drive in the CCTV machine expired after 3 months use and trashed about 80gb of data including the intranet/booking forms/SQL databases etc.
I guess the old saying of “It’ll either fail early, or run forever” still applies.
Nope, don’t by any means feel priviledged, it seems they cut off everyone! :roll:
Ah, I’ll keep that in mind for future reference… I’m just glad that I managed to get my docs and photos backed up… Not so bothered about the progs/software as I have most of those on original CD anyways and those that I don’t are no big deal. Luckily, being on dial-up, I was never one for downloading stacks of stuff anyway, so not too much will be lost.
I have an elf key. When you push it, an elf pops out and sings Britney Spears’ songs. Avoid pressing that key.
*cough*
I’m very sorry about your computer. If I were a magic fairy, I’d say POOF! and make it all better. But, I’m not, so you’ll just have to do with me leaving stupid comments on your blog that really serve no other purpose but to make you smile. And they suck at even that.
WOOT!
…Must only be on US keyboards then… ‘sounds about right…
Huzzah for you! Hope all works out now.
BTW, I haven’t forgotten you tagged me a few posts back but my site is down (it’s complicated!) but it’s the first thing on my list when I get it back up.
So sorry about the dead computer!
I have a Dell desktop and haven’t had any problems that weren’t already my own fault — it’s awful that yours died. I hope it gets sent back to you quickly with everything repaired. 
My daughter plopped her 5150 in front of me yesterday evening. All the same symptoms as you’ve experienced were documented by her as well. Catch; they (Dell) had just installed a new motherboard about a month ago. 450USD spent on a machine that seems to be a POS! Odd though that I have 5 Dell machines and knock-knock, haven’t had one problem as of yet. I will anxiously monitor your progress with the Dell repair outlet.
Meggan: Thanks — me too! Hopefully I should have it returned to me in the next week.
John: Really? Maybe its a fault particular to those machines?… I’ll keep you updated. I got a call from the Dell repair centre stating that they’d replaced my HDD, so all my data has gone down the drain, but atleast I have back-ups. Fingers crossed that the new HDD will fix things.
Heh oh noo! I have heard only horror stories of Dell. I thought the thickly accented Indian call centre story was only an urban legend to scare little Canadian kiddies into buying more expensive laptops by unfriendly salespeople.
However I myself bought an incredibly dodgy “Learning4Life” computer for my little brother once and dealt with similar phone support experiences until the company went down entirely and I had no support. So basically what I am rambling on about is: I can relate
Ah no, myth and legend it is not. To quote Prince/
: “Everything you think is true”, I promise 
John, you’re lucky. I’ve just been onto Dell Tech again today (argh). Of the 70 Optiplex GX60’s we bought 18 months ago, I’ve now documented 22 failures! All power unit failures bar one mainboard going pop and one TFT expiring.
When I called and said I had 6 to log for PSU replacement(6 dead in 2 days!) , they had to “consult with supervisors” to check they could do 6 at once! They then had the barefaced cheek to tell me that “We have no faults on our records for power units beginning “TH-0N2286-12782″.
Lies. 2 of their tech supports who were on their last day have told me that it’s a “bad batch, and we’ve been told to replace them, no questions asked. Dell won’t admit it though, it’s against company policy. I’m only telling you because I’m leaving, so stuff them.”.
I’ve lost faith in Dell. We’re giving major thought to threatening them with a detailed failure report of our kit, straight onto our website and to our LEA, who are a major customer.
Sounds like you’ve got a right saga going on there Karl. I hope you manage to get it sorted!
My computer was returned to me on monday, complete with new HDD fitted, OS and drivers installed. *touches wood* things seem ok, its now just a matter of reinstalling all my software, moving all my files over and tweaking things back to the way I like them.
Plus side is, the new HDD came with Norton Internet Security already installed on it, complete with a year’s free subscription to LiveUpdate
(original HDD didn’t).
So, that saves me from either buying it or digging out my old 2002 version. (Versions after 2002 require you to register the key online, so you can’t use it for more than one machine (unless you buy a version with multiple licences). Complete pain in the arse, really.)
I too, am in Dell hell. I have a Dimension E510 that won’t power up, the power light just flashes amber. The machine is only 18 months old. After reading all the horror stories about Dell tech support, I will never call Dell. If I can’t figure it out, it will give me great pleasure to smash it many times with a sledge hammer. Anyway, I did replace the power supply, which resolved the problem for a few minutes until I shut it down.. $ 65 bucks shot. If I unplug everything and open it up and wiggle all the connections, I can usually get it to power up. I have found that if I just leave the computer on, it’s fine. As far as I’m concerned, this Dell will now run forever, or until the next power failure.