In recent times it has come to my attention that my CP diagnosis is indeed incorrect.
Some deep soul-searching whilst being seduced by the wiles of spiritual wilderness, has enlightened me to the fact that my lower limbs are not fit for walking due simply to the inherent deformities caused by the overwhelming amount of time my feet spend in my mouth.
It’s God’s way of keeping me humble, you see. I’ve no need to make a point of repenting, it’s all built into the system. It’s like he looks down, sees I’m getting a bit carried away and instead of requiring an apology; simply dismisses me with the wave of his hand, shrugging it off with a rolling of the eyes and sighing a weary “Oh, no matter, she’ll do something bloody stupid in a minute that will humiliate her into indefinite silence/inaction or, at least until she thinks everyone’s forgotten and are now busy arching their eyebrows at somebody else”…
Normal service will resume shortly.
A full-time wheelchair user since 1998, Claire lives in an adapted bungalow in England with her Partner of 10 years and their two dogs: 
“overwhelming amount of time my feet spend in my mouth.”
Oh dear…that sounds familiar..what did you do?
Over the last week? The list is endless… Unfortunately, it’s more of a case of undesirable errors of judgement, as opposed to humourous anecdotes.
On the whole, I’m a bit of a “Div” really — I always “put my foot in it” lol…
Is Div a recognised condition? ;o)
If not, it should be — I’m waiting for it to turn up on Urban Dictionary next to the URL of this site
I’m a bit of a “Div” really
no,no,no you’re being too hard on yourself over nuttin
You’re a logical division on a webpage? I told you to be careful with that PC..heh..
Glen: *hugs*
Karl: It could be worse, I could be <blink>
Luckily ‘Div’ is the thin end of the wedge. Stay in the shallow end and we can all forgive you putting your foot in your mouth.