Here I am, aged 22.
Nothing much has changed, I now own a few more books (thanks PCB), a wicked set of USB rechargeable batteries, an adorable Nightmare Before Christmas organiser and 3 cute “Jack Skellington” badges (thanks Bean) and a slightly healthier bank balance. Or, at least it was healthier, until I noticed that Dell had a sale on and I got 15% off of a PDA/Handheld doo-dah I didn’t even know I needed.
I’ve never owned a PDA–type thingy before (and still don’t technically, as it is yet to arrive), but since Katie keeled over and unceremoniously took the contents of her hard drive to the great abyss, I’d sorely missed having a portable means of geekery. Obsessively checking my Email via intermittent WAP was wearing ever so thin, not to mention draining my paltry credit allowance.
To me a Handheld Wossit is a sensible compromise. Despite loving Katie more than one ever should love an inanimate piece of relatively moderate technology (she was a head-turner in her time, but what can I say? The world is a fickle one and her spec would barely raise an eyebrow now), she became a massive burden.
The laptop was originally purchased from a reincarnation of Time/Tiny, known as The Computer Shop (I know, you can stop groaning now). Tiny had gone bust previously and was consumed by Time, but with the help of new corporate branding and low-price machines that on paper, appeared to piss all over their competition, things looked good for a short while.
Alas, the honeymoon period was short-lived and about 18 months after I’d purchased Katie, Time/Tiny/The Computer Shop went into liquidation (or something of the sort). The company has taken yet another form and now operates as an online trader of pretty much the same thing it sold last time, only they now offer limited/no help to those that purchased machines via its previous incarnate.
Which, now leaves me with an aged, defunct laptop that refuses to boot, with the technician from my sister’s workplace refusing to even peek at it and the prospect of even attempting to source replacement parts, a logistical and financial headache.
The length of my expertise in laptop maintenance runs to replacing batteries and AC adapters. Both were expensive and neither were successful. Having now lived without the machine and the information it housed (I’d backed some of it up on Lola, but then lost some when Lola’s HDD expired), I’m contemplating flogging the batteries on eBay and leaving it at that. I can’t see the point at throwing money I don’t have at an old, eccentric, dust and crumb-ridden machine that over-heated and cut-out at will (its own, not mine).
Having said that, Katie’s absence is felt every time I am away from my PC. I don’t want to just check my comments and email, I want to reply to them, when I get an idea for a blog post, I don’t want to forget it whilst busy scrambling for a pen. At the same time, I don’t want to lug around something that needs its own set of luggage and is 25 times the weight of my head.
I’ve been “making-do” without my laptop, but to my mind, there is little worse than Other. People’s. Computers. I hate working on other’s computers. Their settings are all wrong, their screens are too dim/too bright/too far away, the text is too big/small, they use the wrong browser, they don’t hide the crap on their desktop, their mouse buttons and keyboard keys don’t “click” like mine do, I can’t find anything and when I ask for assistance, they can’t find anything… The list goes on.
Then, there’s the Writing (yes, it deserves capitalisation). A week ago today, I began a fiction writing class. I’ve covertly drivelled to the tune of “short fiction” before, though shame kept me from keeping or sharing anything I’ve ever written. I decided to take a short course as much to get over this phobia of people “reading me”, as I did to learn and improve on my (rather iffy) existing skills.
In true spirit, I have taken to writing Morning Pages and keeping a Writer’s Notebook. Most will no doubt never see the light of day, but I’m hoping that by the end of the course, I can pluck up the courage to at least show K my efforts. However, such is the extent of my insecurity and wobbliness when Writing, I can barely put pen to paper for fear of committing the words in my head to legible record for future humiliation.
My hope is that I can poke my mitherings onto my little miniature ‘pooter without anyone reading over my shoulder during these early weeks.
A full-time wheelchair user since 1998, Claire lives in an adapted bungalow in England with her Partner of 10 years and their two dogs: 
I had a PDA as my leaving gift from my previous job and I’d be stuffed without it now. It’s my address book, my diary and my Inbox (albeit my work one) all in one. It syncs with my work PC.
Saying that, I’ve NEVER been able to successfully browse on it, even with a wireless network.
Honestly Claire, sometimes I think we’re separated at birth. I’ve got an offer — show me yours and I’ll show you mine?
V xx
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!
Great news about the writing. If you are doing morning pages — are you following the Writers Way method? I am thinking of doing that…if so let me know what you think of it so far.
Clare, don’t be insecure about your writing. Somehow I’ve found your blog and return frequently to see what you have to say. You are a unique person with a unique perspective. You have a gift — expand it.
Cheers Dvd
Happy Birthday!
er– didnt mean to leave “type your message here” — oops.
Congrats on the Birthday! I’ll trade..I’m 30 this year.:shock:
I’ve considered a PDA in the past..Jem had one from TCAT, and whilst good…I’ve decided it’s something I can manage without. I have a phone running Windows 2003 Mobile that I paid £10, so I get all the functionality in that.
I’ve had run-ins with Time before…“Bunch of Monkeys” springs into my head.
You’d probably laugh at my laptop…it’s a 1998ish Dell Pentium3/600 with a 20gb Hard disk. Not fast, but more than enough.
That said, my line manager DID say the other day “When we go Academy, and get the switchover money with our new office…we’re getting you a new laptop. No arguments — you’ll use it better than most”
I didn’t even move my tower PC in with us…just my old Dell, and Jems (slightly damaged still) Vaio. I might build a cube PC this year for gaming and TV recording/music centre use though. It’d only be about £200 tops to do it.
At work, I tend to use my 1gb pen drive with Portable Firefox/Portable Thunderbird/Portable Openoffice and all my programs on it…I have my PC wherever I choose to sit then..:)
Thank you everyone, for the birthday wishes!
Vixx:
Wow, what a great leaving present! I’m hoping I get as attached to mine as you are to yours.
Seems a fair deal to me, admittedly I’m still at the “fragment” stage, but as soon as there is readable prose, you’ll be my first critical eye.
Beki:
The morning pages were a suggestion made in the course materials (we have this really helpful audio CD that is divided into interviews given by various authors of fiction. On the CD, Monique Roffey said she wrote quite a lot of Sun Dog via morning pages), it seemed like an idea worth trying.
I am intrigued by the whole “Writer’s Way” method and am in the process of nabbing the book so that I can have a good read up. I’ll let you know how I get on.
Dvd:
Thank you, I very much appreciate your encouragement.
I’m still apprehensive, but it’s the first week so I’m very much trying to soak up anything that might work for me, as I’ve no set way of going about things. Whenever I’ve attempted to write before, it’s been random, haphazard and not-surprisingly unsuccessful! Here’s hoping that something comes of the learning process — even if it’s just learning what not to do!
Karl:
You’re not far off there.…
Hey, at least your’s works — the spec on mine doesn’t mean sh*t now the thing won’t even boot up
Ooh, a shiny new laptop? That’s an offer too good to pass up!
Happy (late) birthday!
I’m always at the fragment stage, so don’t worry.
I could’ve taken it two ways; either they were delighted to see the back of me, or very sorry to see me go. I took it as the latter.
V xx
Happy belated Birthday, Claire
Hope you had a good one 
Glad you liked the books, Claire. And I’m thrilled you’re doing a writing class! You have a lovely fresh, vital way about you and a great turn of phrase. more importantly you’ve got idea and stuff to say. I think it’s great you’re doing this. Don’t get discouraged! Don’t! I don’t think there’s ever been a writer, ever who hasn’t cringed at their own work at times, particularly in the beginning. Anyone who picks up a pen metaphorically or literally feels like that sometimes. That’s what I tell myself anyway.
My own pitiful stabs at the kind of writing I’d like to do has reduced me to eye-clawing self-loathing many, many times and one of those times was last week. Aaaaaaagh! I set myself the challenge of trying to describe the kitchen where I happened to be sitting just as a kind of exercise –which I almost never do but it sounded like the sort of thing to do — and there i was, off on a whole extended metaphor about the spaghetti standing regimently like soldiers in the pot, waiting to be boiled as soldiers face death upright, or some arrant crap like that. What? Christ alive, what was I thinking? I’m preferring to think that I was suffering from a little known food combination reaction because I was eating skittles with my morning coffee — must have been something in the purple ones. I refuse to believe I came up with noble spaghetti soldiers. Aaaaagh!
One thing that’s great to do though is to read and re-read those authors you love and sniff around some of these books you’ve always meant to read but haven’t go around to yet. Re-reading is one of the most surprising things sometimes. I read Bleak House as a young teenager and then, again a few years ago and it was as if they were two entirely different books. I noticed a lot more as a twenty-something than I did as a teenager and when I’d finished it was a firm favourite. Since them I’ve read it once and that on each re-reading I felt like i was sucking out more and more. It inspires and gives you ideas you might never have had otherwise, because on re-reading you’re concentrating more on the sentences and how the author’s put things together and it’s a whole new way of approaching a book.
Best of luck with it, Claire. It’s great that you’re biting the bullet and going for it. Keep us posted on how it’s all going!
PCB: *hugs PCB* Your words of encouragement mean so much, especially as they come from someone whose writing talent I very much admire. Even in your so-called “off” days, your noble spaghetti soldiers are an inspiration.
Great minds and all that… This was an exercise I was set just the other day
Very wise words, I’m currently getting “back” into reading after a long absence and am very much enjoying my return.