Wheelistically @ Claire.NU

And so, off again I go to the Garden of Eng­land for 3 days’ res­pite, to bear no less than 3 motor­ways and the joys of Bank Hol­i­day Week­end traffic.

Before I leave, I would like to share with you some of the utter gems cour­tesy of the stats plu­gin that tells me the Google searches that bring people here.

These include:

I have red hair but don’t want a ginger baby what col­our hair man should I have my baby with?
You’ve got to be jok­ing, I almost choked when I read this. Surely, if any­thing should gov­ern your choice of suit­able father for any impend­ing child it should be things like: Do I love this man? Will this man make a good father? Does this man have any­thing dubi­ous or worthy of con­cern in his fam­ily med­ical history?

This wins.

Claire big tits
I find it fab­ulously ironic that such a search should bring people to my site and I’m sure that any­one who knows me off­line will also see the humour in it. I pos­sess many things, big tits how­ever are append­ages I don’t covet, des­pite my best efforts.

fluffy/blonde/ginger pubic hair pho­tos
Nope sorry, none here.

tried and tested ways to increase your penis size
If I dis­cover a way mate, I’ll let you know. Though I always heard that it was the “motion of the ocean” that you had to worry about, as opposed to the… ahem, “size of the ship”.

Trans­vest­ite pho­tos
Oooh, where?

clip­ping chest hair
Now, is this in ref­er­ence to the cutting/trimming of chest hair?

Or, does “clip­ping” refer to hav­ing har­ves­ted said chest hair as a memento for safe keep­ing, you know like how people keep magazine clip­pings in scrap­books and locks of hair in-between the pages of Bibles or in cheap trinket boxes from Argos, per­haps? After all, I’d cer­tainly keep a clip­ping Prince’s chest hair as a memento if the situ­ation ever arose.

Or, could “clip­ping” be a ref­er­ence to groom­ing the body hair with the assist­ance of accessor­ies? Tam­ing with a bobby pin? Cre­at­ing a centre part­ing with a plastic hair grip, maybe?

Just con­tem­plate that men­tal image.…Or not.